Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
Randomize
