I'm really into asian looking animals
I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
Randomize
