why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Randomize
