3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
The feeling are messing with the penis
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Randomize
