Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
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