My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize