Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
