my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Randomize
