is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
Randomize
