You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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