bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
