i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
Randomize
