Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
NoShamevember. You game?
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
