Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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