Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
