He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Randomize
