Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
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