im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
Holy shit dude........stairs
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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