I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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