Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize
