I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
My penis needs a shock collar
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
Randomize
