I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize