You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize