I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
We need to get me chipped asap
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Randomize
