ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Randomize