I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
