He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
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