dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
