somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Randomize
