she sounds like chewbacca in bed
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
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