the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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