I feel like abortions should bother me more
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
Randomize
