Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize
