attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Randomize
