She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
