i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
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