Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
