how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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