Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
Randomize