nut hugger
My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
Randomize
