In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
