So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
try to milk me bitch
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Randomize
