ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
either way he was missing a nipple.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Randomize
