He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
