we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
I don't deserve a penis
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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