Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
Dick very happy bro
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
It all started with a game of naked twister.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Randomize
