belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
