I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
Randomize
