Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
I'm like, not good at living.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
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