hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
