i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
so much tequila, so little girl.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Randomize