but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
Randomize
