it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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