My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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