His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
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