she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
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