cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
