I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
