You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
