I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Randomize
