I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
pray to the hookup gods
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
Randomize
