It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
