I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize