i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
