I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
Randomize
