I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
