We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
