Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
